REFLECTION

My true friends on blogger know I was hospitalized due to renal failure and infection in my blood. As a matter of fact, my discharge summary has me diagnosed with 17 different ailments.

Being so sick and coming face to face with death has caused me to reflect on my life. I've taken these past couple of weeks to re-evaluate some things. I must get back to the basics. I must take pleasure in more of the simple things in life. I can no longer be so future oriented that I practically kill myself by keeping my focus so far in the future the present becomes a blur.

Having said this, I must confess;

When I buy ice cream (even when I was married) I would get the munchies and dig all the good stuff out leaving only ice cream behind. I would go for the chunks of cherries and chocolate, but wouldn't eat the ice cream.

I pick all the dried fruit out of cereal, leaving all the healthy bran flakes behind. I don't waste the flakes, I give them to the birds. They love them.

During a charity drive at work (Operation Feed) my department had a contest with another department as to who could collect the most essential food items. The loser would have to cook breakfast for the winning department. Not willing to cook, I went shopping and bought store brand tuna, store brand dried milk, I was buying store brand everything. My department won the contest. The confession here is that...I never buy store brand for myself. Heck, I never buy store brand for charity either, it's just that I didn't want to cook, plus I needed Cheryl's french toast casserole.

The Squirrel and I went out to eat once. The manager of the place jumped all over a server in front of the customers and I went off on him. I told him I didn't appreciate hearing him degrade the young lady and he should have taken her to the back and allowed her to keep some dignity. A few other customers agreed with me and let him know. When I got home I flew the corporate offices an e mail with my complaint and advised them I would not be returning to their establishment. The company sent me a $50.00 gift card. I gave that gift card as a Christmas gift last year. I have no intention of going back until they tell me the manager has been fired.

When ever I have special company coming over, I clean from top to bottom. I also keep my spare bedroom (storage from hell) closed so they can't see how I really live.

My ex-husband hit me once (or twice). I paid him back by making a pee in the toilet, then I soaked his toothebrush in it for an hour. I used tongs to get it out and place it back in the holder. My toothebrush got moved to the other side.

While washing the same ex-husbands clothes (after he hit me) I sort of forgot to rinse them. I accidentally put them in the dryer without letting them rinse.

For the last 3 years of my marriage, I secretly saved money at my credit union. I had over 7 grand saved up the day he told me he changed his mind and was leaving. I changed the locks and went shopping for sexy office attire.

Has anyone ever seen the movie 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back'? After my divorce, I hooked up with a younger man and got my groove back as well. The only difference was, I couldn't get past the age difference for real, so I would drink before we hooked up. This younger man also told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. I dumped him. (Keep in mind, we hung out for something like 10 month's before having this conversation).

My first day in the hospital, after they moved me to my room, a doctor came in and introduced himself to me. While giving me an exam, he sat me up and propped me against him feeling around on my back asking if that hurt? In this position he kept saying "yes, I know". I had my arm wrapped around his and all I was thinking was how good he smelled and how good it felt being pushed up against him. I guess I sort of knew I would be OK after that. I mean, how could I be dying when I was still able to feel the 'URGE' So I made Crab and Squirrel bring me coke and cherry icee's and other goodies.

Now I have many more confessions, but I will save those for the Lord. I don't think He would want me to tell you all anymore.