THE SQUIRREL HIT ME WHILE I WAS DOWN

For those of you who are my friends, you know I have suffered this past week from a toothache from hell. My friends also know I have a love for cheap Mexican food and that the Squirrel does not share this same love.

Friday night, around 6:30 Squirrel calls me.

Squirrel: Have you eaten anything since you left the dentist?

Me: Just some tomato soup. I'm still numb and all I want is something with some substance.

Squirrel: Why don't you make some scrambled eggs.

Me: My eggs have an expiration date of 2/27/07.

Squirrel: They are still good. I eat expired eggs all the time.

Me: The last thing I need is food poisening. I can't stand the thought of getting sick.

Squirrel: I'll bring you something, just listen for me to honk in your driveway.

Me: You're the bomb. I'll be waiting.

A little later, in my driveway.

Squirrel: I stopped at McDonalds. I figure they are soft enough for you to eat. I ordered them without pickle so they should be fresh.

Me: Did you get me a chocolate shake?

Squirrel: No, the machine didn't look clean. I got you 3 cheeseburgers. They are Mexican.

Me: Cool. I didn't know they had Mexican cheeseburgers.

Squirrel snicker's and pull's away. I go inside. I am so ready for some real food. I grab a plate and unwrap my burger's. These don't look any different I thought. Maybe they put some cool Mexican sauce on them.

I realized while taking my first bite I had been suckered. Damn Squirrel! How could she tease me so after all I had been through this week.

She calls when she got home. (Calling each other after we get home is what we do. We have to let each other know we are home and safe.)

Me: These are not Mexican cheeseburgers.

Squirrel: Yes they are. They were made by Mexicans. And then she burst into laughter. I kid you not. She is laughing hysterically. She laugh's for about 5 minutes.

Me: You're not even funny. I don't know why you are laughing cuz it's not the least bit funny.

Squirrel: Yes it is.

She just kept on laughing and I finally just hung up the phone. It's ok though because it was my pick the next time we went out. Guess what I picked? That's right. Cheap Mexican. I ordered so much food. I had chili con queso, guacamole, beef fajitas, charro beans. I was even eaten her food right off her plate. Oh, I threw some green bell pepper's her way, but I was feasting.

btw, I ask Crab all the time if she actually remember's seeing mom pregnant with Squirrel. Squirrel is so opposite of Crab and I. She hate's Mexican food. All she does is work. All Crab want's to do is play. I have the perfect balance as I work and play hard. Crab and I are into decorating, painting, home projects. Squirrel is fine with the way things are. No need to paint she says. Crab and I blog and love video games. Squirrel makes fun of us for blogging and thinks games are a waste of time. Crab and I get in and out of the grocery store, Squirrel has to touch everything.

Squirrel is easy, Crab and I believe nothing. Squirrel is so easy, a few years back, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I was at work. I had just got a picture cell phone. Sitting at my desk, looking at a picture of our mom, I take a picture of the picture. On Thanksgiving day, we are at Crab's house. I show the picture to Squirrel and say...This just showed up on my phone this morning. Squirrel looks at me all big eyed and stuff and says...Really? LOL Crab and I are rolling on the floor laughing. Then during dinner, Jake tell's her a story about a giant deformed house spider. He tell's her the spider got this way from bug killer. How it walks sideways and stuff. He was laying it on pretty thick and Squirrel was all believing him. I think she even said she saw one of them there spiders. LMAO

Damn, this sure is a long post. I guess I'm just feeling better.