WHY I'M NOT INVITED

Black Friday, this is the only day of the year The Squirrel takes off no matter what. She has worked Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, while I was in the hospital, and even my birthday. On rare occasions she will grace Crab and I by taking a day off so we can hang out together, but not very often.

Keep in mind she always tell's us she can never be out at the same time as her boss. Except of course for "Black Friday". The two of them take the day off to shop together...and they're good at it. They even have walky talkies so they can keep tabs on each other. They enter the store, each one grabbing a basket, and hit opposite ends. With each one knowing what the other need's to buy, they hook up in the middle with all the gift's and head for the check out. They do this ALL THE DAY LONG!

Six years ago I thought it sounded like fun. I thought... go shopping, eat some good food, hang out with Squirrel and The Smokey, how could it not be fun? Yea, this will be fun.

It all went down hill from there. The first store we hit was the Wal Mart and it sucked. People were rude and greedy and I'm not about to take anyone's crap. The employees weren't much better.

We hit a few other store's, I don't remember which one's...everything is still just a blurr. I still shudder at the thought.

Upon leaving store number 4 or 5, I notice it's still early in the day and that's when my mouth opened and said "I'm ready to go home now". "Nuh uh" said Squirrel. "Yes I am and I want to go now". "It's only 10 freekin(only for real) 30. We are not ready to leave yet". "You need to take me home right now". I demanded. "I can't freeking believe this freekin crap (only for real). You know we go at this all freeking day. You know we do this every freekin year."

Finally she and Smokey decided it would be best just to dump me off. You need to know that one of the hardest things to do is make The Squirrel mad, but if you get her cussing for real, throwing the "F" work around, nostrils flaring, you're in big trouble.

I don't get invited to go anymore. As a matter of fact, I'm not even permitted to talk about it. If somehow, it come's up in conversation, I have to lower my head and keep my mouth shut because she just sit's there glaring at me. I get scared. The only reason I'm brave enough to tell you guys is because she doesn't have the internet at home and will never (And I mean NEVER) find out I was talking about Black Friday.